Factsheet
Worried About Someone’s Alcohol and Other Drug Use
Support for families, carers and friends
Alcohol or drug use by someone you care about can be confusing, stressful and overwhelming — but you are not alone.
A new national study shows that 48% of Australians were negatively affected by someone else’s drinking in the past year, including emotional harm, family conflict, financial stress and physical danger. Many people find themselves supporting someone whose alcohol or drug use impacts their wellbeing1.
This factsheet is designed to help you understand what you can do, how to stay safe, and where to find support.
Looking After Yourself While Supporting Someone Else
The most important thing to remember is that people cannot change unless they want to. You are not responsible for someone else’s choices or behaviours.
Your key responsibility is to look after yourself and keep yourself safe.
- You do not have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or unsafe.
- Setting boundaries is healthy — and often helpful for the person you’re supporting.
- If you are affected by, or witness violence, leave the situation immediately and seek help from police or a domestic violence service.
- Violence is never OK, regardless of alcohol or drug use.
Seeking support for yourself is absolutely OK. Many services can help you and your family navigate this difficult situation.
How Do I Know If Someone May Be Using Alcohol or Other Drugs?
Changes that may indicate alcohol or drug use include:
- Mood swings or personality changes
- Sleeping pattern changes
- Changes in spending or unexplained financial stress
- Taking more risks than usual
- Finding substances or paraphernalia
- Behaviours that worry you or seem out of character
These signs can also relate to stress, mental health challenges, or physical health issues — not only alcohol or drug use.It’s normal to feel unsure or concerned when you notice these changes.
If you’re worried, you may choose to talk with the person — the next section offers tips on how to start that conversation safely and respectfully.
This Tune In Not Out video “Helping someone who may have a drinking problem” has great information on supporting someone safely.
How Do I Start the Conversation?
Choose a time when everyone is calm, safe and not intoxicated.
Be respectful and avoid accusations.
You could say:
- “I’m worried about you because…”
- “’I’ve noticed some changes and I’m worried about you. Are you OK?”
- “How are you coping at the moment?”
Even if they don’t want to talk, knowing someone cares can make a difference.
Can I Stop Them From Using?
Trying to force or pressure someone to stop using alcohol or other drugs is usually counterproductive.
What does help is:
- Staying connected
- Offering non-judgemental support
- Encouraging professional help when they’re ready
Change takes time, and readiness varies for each person.
What Is My Role? What Can I Do?
1. Look after yourself and anyone else in your care
Your wellbeing and safety come first. Supporting someone else’s alcohol or drug use can be emotionally exhausting and sometimes unsafe. It is OK to set boundaries, take breaks, and seek support for yourself. Children and others who depend on you need your stability and safety. See the helplines at the end of this factsheet and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.
2. Get informed
Understanding alcohol and drug use can help you feel more prepared. Speaking to your GP or contacting a local alcohol and other drug (AOD) service are great places to start.
3. Offer support
Sometimes the best support is simply listening and staying connected. Only offer support that feels safe and manageable for you — your wellbeing matters.
4. Help them get help
Ask whether they have sought help before, and whether they’re open to accessing support. They may not know where to begin — that’s OK. You can help by finding services, making appointments, or attending with them (if appropriate), but remember that the decision to change is theirs.
What Should I Expect?
Every situation is different.
- Some people choose to reduce or stop.
- Some may continue using for a while before they’re ready for change.
- Some people use drugs or alcohol recreationally and take steps to stay safe.
- Others may develop dependence and need structured support.
Withdrawal and recovery can be complex, and relapse is common. Supporting someone through this can take energy and emotional strength. It’s OK to seek your own support or set limits when you need to.
AOD treatment services can help you understand substances, withdrawal, treatment options, and how best to support someone safely.
Help and Information
You are not alone. Support is available — for both you and the person you care about.
Visit alwf.org.au/support for help and information services
Key Message to Remember
You are not alone.
Support is available for both you and the person you care about.
Your safety and wellbeing matter — and reaching out for help is a strong and positive first step.